Yes, But What Does Britney Think?

There are a great many things that I miss about America. Many, of course, I expected: my family and friends, favorite shops, and restaurants. It’s what I didn’t expect to miss that is really throwing me for a loop, however.

I miss Twinkies. I don’t really even like Twinkies that much and I rarely eat them, but somehow their absence is keenly felt.

I miss American television; particularly the guilty pleasure shows, the shows that I would never think to watch unless I was bored and had come upon them while channel surfing - the VH1 marathon of last season’s ‘America’s Next Top Model’ or the second-rate action movie on TNT.

Mostly, I find that I miss magazines. I miss reading the witty and thought provoking editorials and essays in The New Yorker and Time Magazine. Now, I know that I can read them online. Even the cartoons, which I admit constitute about half of my reading pleasure in The New Yorker, are included on it’s online pages. But, it’s not quite the same as sitting down in a comfortable chair and flipping through the pages.

And as much as I miss the respectable magazines, I must confess what I really miss are the gossip rags. I miss People and US Magazine. It’s all fine and good to read about the Pakistani President’s unsettlingly friendly relationship with the Chinese leadership in Time, but what about Jennifer Aniston’s love life? Where can I find photos of Nicole Richie at the supermarket or a picture gallery of recent celebrity ‘baby bumps’? And yes, I can find much of this online as well. But, there is something about actually setting out to find gossip that takes so much of the joy out it. And viewing the pictures online just isn’t the same. There is something about the glossy pages and splashy, exaggerated headlines that transforms them from tacky gossip into perfectly acceptable entertainment.

And where People and US Magazine are like Pizza Hut pizza– not my usual preference for dinner, but the subject of an occasional craving – OK! and Star Magazine seem to fill the role of Twinkies in this admittedly odd allegory. I never actually buy them, but there is something very comforting about their presence in the grocery check-out line; something reassuring about the competing headlines of a Jolie / Pitt break-up versus their plans to marry on Christmas Eve at the Taj Mahal.

More evidence, I suppose, that even metaphorical superficial cuts cause more irritation than deeper wounds. I wonder if I’ll spend one of my first days back in the States sitting in front of the television eating Twinkies and flipping through US Magazine while ‘America’s Next Top Model’ is on. And no doubt, remembering very quickly why I never thought I would miss them in the first place.

Recent DVD viewing– The 1987 BBC series of Dorothy L. Sayers Lord Peter Wimsey films starring Edward Petherbridge and Harriet Walter. I’m enjoying them tremendously and am now very interested in reading the original novels.

Album currently playing on my IPOD – Gomez’s 2004 album, Split the Difference. Great band, check them out.

- Jenny